Gaslighting ...BEST EXPLANATION 5 ways to determine if YOU are being GASLIGHTED....trolls love to gaslight
Gas Lighting
5 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Gaslighting You
What is gaslighting? According to relationship expert Susan Winter,
gaslighting occurs when someone tries to control someone else through
manipulation by making them doubt themselves, their intuition and their
reality. Note that the purpose is to make someone question their
reality. It’s a specific form of abuse that can cause people to feel
like they’re going crazy.
The term originated from a play called “Gaslight” in which a husband slowly
drives his wife mad by turning gas lights on and off and then denying
that anything is happening. Now, gaslight is used to describe abuse that
makes someone question their reality. Fortunately, there are several
red flag behaviors that expose someone as a gaslighter.
Here Are 5 Behaviors That Reveal Someone Is Gaslighting You
1. Lying
Lying is a key behavior in gaslighting. In fact, gaslighting requires that
the person in question tells blatant lies. If someone is telling you
lies that contradict what you know, then it’s a red flag that they are
trying
to gaslight you. For example, if you know that you said something
specific, and your partner tries to lie and say that you said something
else,
then it’s a red flag. For example, if you told your partner, “I’m
annoyed right now”, and they try to change what you said to, “I hate you
right now”, this is a form of gaslighting.
2. They project feelings onto you
Projection is a term that means someone is making out like you feel, think or want
something that you don’t actually feel, think or want. Someone who is
gaslighting you needs to be able to project something on their victim in
order to control them. For example, if you are giving the abuser a
neutral response, they may project an openly hostile response onto you.
When someone says, “I don’t know” in response to a question, the
gaslighter will project a more insidious motivation or feeling onto the
person. Not only that, but they will tell you what you’re feeling, and
insist that it’s true until you start to believe it.
3. They pit you against everyone else
A gaslighter wants you to believe that it’s “you and me against the
world”. They will make you believe that everyone else is lying to you,
and that they are the only person that you can trust. If a gaslighter
starts to tell you that your friends and family are lying to you, this
is a big red flag, especially if this is hard to believe. If your
friends and family have never lied to you before, then they wouldn’t
have
any reason to start lying now. Someone who is trying to gaslight you
wants you to believe that everyone else can’t be trusted. 4. They say one thing and do another
The greatest tool that a gaslighter has is confusion, and they are masters
at being able to control that confusion. If someone is telling you one
thing, but demonstrating something else, then this is a huge sign that
they are trying to gaslight you. For example, if someone tells you that
they trust you, but breaks into your phone, this means that they don’t
actually trust you. If someone tells you that they love you, but they
continue to berate and humiliate you, this is a red flag. If someone is
intentionally trying to confuse you, they’re trying to gaslight you.
5. Denial
Another tell-tale behavior of someone who is trying to gaslight you is outright
denial. This goes hand in hand with lying. According to George Simon,
PhD, “When they’re confronted, they don’t just deny, deny, deny —
they deny adamantly. The script is simple: when you get confronted on
something you know will expose you for the unsavory character you are,
act offended and hurt, appear resolute, and question the sanity of your
accuser. The script is not only simple, it’s also generally effective.”
It doesn’t matter if you have video evidence of them doing something, they
will bend over backwards trying to prove to you that the event didn’t
actually happen. However, this mostly happens in more subtle ways. If
they insulted you yesterday, they will deny that they did today. If you
helped them out with something, they will deny that you ever helped them
at all. Be aware of denial, as this is a red flag of someone trying to gaslight you.
Final thoughts
Gaslighting can be an incredibly scary thing to go through. However, these are the
main signs that will let you know if gaslighting is occurring. Someone
who is trying to gaslight you will try to make you question your
reality. The most important thing to do is to get as much proof as you
can and figure out an exit strategy with your support system. Let other
people know what’s going on and use them as your reality check.
10 Behaviors Toxic People Display Before Revealing ThemselvesThe idea of letting go of “toxic people” in your life is a trending theme lately. And, for good reason. Recent studies show that healthy relationships lower stress and contribute to good mental, emotional and physical health.
On the flip side, in a long-term study done with 10,000 subjects over the course of over 12 years, researchers found that subjects with more negative, toxic relationships were at greater risk for heart disease than their counterparts with more positive relationships.
Toxic relationships can come in many forms – parents, siblings, partner, friends, co-worker, etc, and of course, no real relationship is 100% perfect at all times. Labeling someone as “toxic” to you, doesn’t necessarily mean they are a bad person and in no way an attempt to associate a human being with contamination in the literal sense. It also does’t mean to ditch people when they are going through hard times.
But, it does mean to evaluate the people in your life and how they make you feel on a consistent basis. Some people are just literally hardwired to be toxic, and usually from years and years of negative rewiring. So, how do you know if someone is really a toxic person?
Here are 10 things to never ignore from toxic people:
1. Toxic people apologize to no one. Expecting a toxic person to apologize is like asking North Korea to embrace diplomacy: completely out of the realm of possibility.
They’ll construct an elaborate lie before admitting any fault, no matter how obvious. The cool thing is, as rational human beings, we don’t require some faulty rationale to move on. We can choose to realize and accept toxic manipulation – an action permitting us to move forward without regret.
2. They make you “prove your worthiness”.Unsurprisingly, toxic people bear a stark resemblance to the narcissistic. They’ll make you choose between something that’ll benefit your life, or decide to hang around with them a bit longer. In the event that you choose the former, the dramatic firework show will undoubtedly commence.
Forget it. Move on. You have one person – and one person only – for which you need to prove something to. 3. Toxic people project, not reflect.Projection is nothing more than psychological manipulation. Rather than take ownership of their feelings, they’re more likely to blame you as the source. This may be as simple as “You’ve been in a bad mood all day,” or “Your attitude is really bringing me down.”
Remember, this psychological manipulation has nothing to do with you. It’s all about them. It always has been and will continue to be. 4. They are hardwired for Manipulation.It isn’t uncommon for someone that’s been involved in a toxic relationship to reveal what they now recognize as deliberately manipulative acts.
Attribute such realizations to entitlement, lack of self-esteem, or outright selfishness. The chances are that this manipulation is so deeply ingrained that even the most selfless and benevolent among us are unable to appease such outrageous and devious behavior.
5. Their “true self” is never revealed.One day, the person is loving and attentive; another, they’re distant and abusive. That’s how they want it to be. That’s how they maintain control Good-hearted people will almost always attempt to understand someone else’s problems – and contribute to some kind of solution. The problem is that there is no real “problem,” and a “solution” is nothing more than a mirage. Most of the time, their thought process is filled with toxic thoughts.
6. They’ll ruin the occasion.Have some great news to share? You’re better off not involving someone toxic. Did you receive a raise? Plan a vacation? Adjust your schedule to become more available?
Toxic people have a way of contorting any positive news into something negative. That’s their nature. It sucks. But again, you don’t have to participate.
7. Irrelevancy is irrelevant.Solving a problem that involves more than one person requires cohesiveness. Unfortunately, toxic people are utterly incapable of reciprocating what is, to most of us, a natural and fair response.
Instead, they’ll (once again) deviate from any sense of responsibility while redirecting your attention to an unrelated matter that may (but probably did not) result from your actions. Solving a problem is not important to toxic people. They’re more at home creating one of their own.
RELATED ARTICLE: 10 Things That Happen When You Get Toxic People Out of Your Life
8. Mannerisms matter all of a sudden.On a related note, toxic people have a way of pointing out any and all acts of “division.” Sigh at the dinner table? Convey a frustrated tone over the phone? Anticipate and expect a toxic person to, all of a sudden, display a memory of someone with a 160-plus IQ. 9. Disparagement…Though you could likely allocate hours (days?) droning on about a toxic person’s offenses, you don’t. Why? Well, because you’re a decent human being with a good heart.
On the other hand, toxic people refuse to allow such “transgressions” to fall by the wayside. In their disillusioned sense of reality, they’ll insist on making any perceived shortcoming a pain point. Why? Well, to get their way, of course.
10. Exaggeration…How we could go on and on about this last one…but we’ll desist. Shockingly, toxic people embellish their accomplishments while depreciating anyone else’s. It’s not about them…so they don’t care. (The previous sentence may indeed explain human toxicity in the most accurate, concise way possible.)
t They All Use the Same Twenty-Five Rules of
Disinformation and Gas Lighting to Change the Meaning of Language to
Push Their Agenda — Especially to Change the Meaning of Words and Terms in Our U.S. Constitution.
Twenty-Five rules of Obot & Hbot online disinformation
specialists — aka “Gas Lighting” and in more erudite propaganda-pushing
marketing circles, more euphemistically known as “Perception
Management”.
Source: Twenty-Five Ways To Suppress Truth: The Rules of
Disinformation (Includes The 8 Traits of A Disinformationalist) by H.
Michael Sweeney — http://www.whale.to/m/disin.html
Note: The first rule and last five (or six, depending on situation)
rules are generally not directly within the ability of the traditional
disinfo artist to apply. These rules are generally used more directly by
those at the leadership, key players, or planning level of the criminal
conspiracy or conspiracy to cover up. 1. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.
Regardless of what you know, don’t discuss it — especially if you are a
public figure, news anchor, etc. If it’s not reported, it didn’t
happen, and you never have to deal with the issues. 2. Become incredulous and indignant. Avoid discussing
key issues and instead focus on side issues which can be used show the
topic as being critical of some otherwise sacrosanct group or theme.
This is also known as the ‘How dare you!’ gambit. 3. Create rumor mongers. Avoid discussing issues by
describing all charges, regardless of venue or evidence, as mere rumors
and wild accusations. Other derogatory terms mutually exclusive of truth
may work as well. This method which works especially well with a silent
press, because the only way the public can learn of the facts are
through such ‘arguable rumors’. If you can associate the material with
the Internet, use this fact to certify it a ‘wild rumor’ from a ‘bunch
of kids on the Internet’ which can have no basis in fact. 4. Use a straw man. Find or create a seeming element
of your opponent’s argument which you can easily knock down to make
yourself look good and the opponent to look bad. Either make up an issue
you may safely imply exists based on your interpretation of the
opponent/opponent arguments/situation, or select the weakest aspect of
the weakest charges. Amplify their significance and destroy them in a
way which appears to debunk all the charges, real and fabricated alike,
while actually avoiding discussion of the real issues. 5. Sidetrack opponents with name calling and ridicule.
This is also known as the primary ‘attack the messenger’ ploy, though
other methods qualify as variants of that approach. Associate opponents
with unpopular titles such as ‘kooks’, ‘right-wing’, ‘liberal’,
‘left-wing’, ‘terrorists’, ‘conspiracy buffs’, ‘radicals’, ‘militia’,
‘racists’, ‘religious fanatics’, ‘sexual deviates’, and so forth. This
makes others shrink from support out of fear of gaining the same label,
and you avoid dealing with issues. 6. Hit and Run. In any public forum, make a brief
attack of your opponent or the opponent position and then scamper off
before an answer can be fielded, or simply ignore any answer. This works
extremely well in Internet and letters-to-the-editor environments
where a steady stream of new identities can be called upon without
having to explain criticism, reasoning — simply make an accusation or
other attack, never discussing issues, and never answering any
subsequent response, for that would dignify the opponent’s viewpoint. 7. Question motives. Twist or amplify any fact which
could be taken to imply that the opponent operates out of a hidden
personal agenda or other bias. This avoids discussing issues and forces
the accuser on the defensive. 8. Invoke authority. Claim for yourself or associate
yourself with authority and present your argument with enough ‘jargon’
and ‘minutia’ to illustrate you are ‘one who knows’, and simply say it
isn’t so without discussing issues or demonstrating concretely why or
citing sources. 9. Play Dumb. No matter what evidence or logical
argument is offered, avoid discussing issues except with denials they
have any credibility, make any sense, provide any proof, contain or make
a point, have logic, or support a conclusion. Mix well for maximum
effect. 10. Associate opponent charges with old news. A
derivative of the straw man — usually, in any large-scale matter of high
visibility, someone will make charges early on which can be or were
already easily dealt with – a kind of investment for the future should
the matter not be so easily contained.) Where it can be foreseen, have
your own side raise a straw man issue and have it dealt with early on as
part of the initial contingency plans. Subsequent charges, regardless
of validity or new ground uncovered, can usually then be associated with
the original charge and dismissed as simply being a rehash without need
to address current issues — so much the better where the opponent is
or was involved with the original source. 11. Establish and rely upon fall-back positions. Using
a minor matter or element of the facts, take the ‘high road’ and
‘confess’ with candor that some innocent mistake, in hindsight, was made
— but that opponents have seized on the opportunity to blow it all out
of proportion and imply greater criminalities which, ‘just isn’t so.’
Others can reinforce this on your behalf, later, and even publicly ‘call
for an end to the nonsense’ because you have already ‘done the right
thing.’ Done properly, this can garner sympathy and respect for ‘coming
clean’ and ‘owning up’ to your mistakes without addressing more serious
issues. 12. Enigmas have no solution. Drawing upon the overall
umbrella of events surrounding the crime and the multitude of players
and events, paint the entire affair as too complex to solve. This causes
those otherwise following the matter to begin to lose interest more
quickly without having to address the actual issues. 13. Alice in Wonderland Logic. Avoid discussion of the issues by reasoning backwards or with an apparent deductive logic
which forbears any actual material fact. 14. Demand complete solutions. Avoid the issues by
requiring opponents to solve the crime at hand completely, a ploy which
works best with issues qualifying for rule 10. 15. Fit the facts to alternate conclusions. This requires creative thinking unless the crime was planned with contingency conclusions in place. 16. Vanish evidence and witnesses. If it does not exist, it is not fact, and you won’t have to address the issue. 17. Change the subject. Usually in connection with one
of the other ploys listed here, find a way to side-track the
discussion with abrasive or controversial comments in hopes of turning
attention to a new, more manageable topic. This works especially well
with companions who can ‘argue’ with you over the new topic and
polarize the discussion arena in order to avoid discussing more key
issues. 18. Emotionalize, Antagonize, and Goad Opponents. If
you can’t do anything else, chide and taunt your opponents and draw them
into emotional responses which will tend to make them look foolish and
overly motivated, and generally render their material somewhat less
coherent. Not only will you avoid discussing the issues in the first
instance, but even if their emotional response addresses the issue, you
can further avoid the issues by then focusing on how ‘sensitive they are
to criticism.’ 19. Ignore proof presented, demand impossible proofs.
This is perhaps a variant of the ‘play dumb’ rule. Regardless of what
material may be presented by an opponent in public forums, claim the
material irrelevant and demand proof that is impossible for the
opponent to come by (it may exist, but not be at his disposal, or it may
be something which is known to be safely destroyed or withheld, such as
a murder weapon.) In order to completely avoid discussing issues, it
may be required that you to categorically deny and be critical of media
or books as valid sources, deny that witnesses are acceptable, or even
deny that statements made by government or other authorities have any
meaning or relevance. 20. False evidence. Whenever possible, introduce new
facts or clues designed and manufactured to conflict with opponent
presentations — as useful tools to neutralize sensitive issues or impede
resolution. This works best when the crime was designed
with contingencies for the purpose, and the facts cannot be easily separated from the fabrications. 21. Call a Grand Jury, Special Prosecutor, or other empowered investigative body which is in your pocket.
Subvert the (process) to your benefit and effectively neutralize all
sensitive issues without open discussion. Once convened, the evidence
and testimony are required to be secret when properly handled. For
instance, if you own the prosecuting attorney, it can insure a Grand
Jury hears no useful evidence and that the evidence is sealed and
unavailable to subsequent investigators. Once a favorable verdict is
achieved, the matter can be considered officially closed. Usually, this
technique is applied to find the guilty innocent, but it can also be
used to obtain charges when seeking to frame a victim. 22. Manufacture a new truth. Create your own expert(s),
group(s), author(s), leader(s) or influence existing ones willing to
forge new ground via scientific, investigative, or social research or
testimony which concludes favorably. In this way, if you must actually
address issues, you can do so authoritatively. 23. Create bigger distractions. If the above does not
seem to be working to distract from sensitive issues, or to prevent
unwanted media coverage of unstoppable events such as trials, create
bigger news stories (or treat them as such) to distract the multitudes. 24. Silence critics. If the above methods do not
prevail, consider removing opponents from circulation by some definitive
solution so that the need to address issues is removed entirely. This
can be by their death, arrest and detention, blackmail or destruction of
their character by release of blackmail information, or merely by
destroying them financially, emotionally, or severely damaging their
health. 25. Vanish. If you are a key holder of secrets or otherwise
overly illuminated and you think the heat is getting too hot, to avoid
the issues, vacate the kitchen.
Note: There are other ways to attack truth, but these listed are the
most common, and others are likely derivatives of these. In the end, you
can usually spot the professional disinformation players/teams by one or more of seven distinct posting traits: 1. Avoidance. They never actually discuss issues head-on or provide constructive input … ; 2. Selectivity. They tend to pick and choose opponents carefully, either applying the hit-and-run approach … ; 3. Coincidental.
They tend to surface suddenly and somewhat coincidentally with a new
controversial topic with no clear prior record of participation in
general discussions … ; 4. Teamwork. They tend to operate in self-congratulatory and complementary packs or teams … ; 5. Anti-conspiratorial.
They almost always have disdain for ‘conspiracy theorists’ [and are
quick to label anyone opposed to their view as a conspiracy nut and
other put-down names] … ; 6. Artificial Emotions. An
odd kind of ‘artificial’ emotionalism and an unusually thick skin — an
ability to persevere and persist even in the face of overwhelming
criticism and unacceptance … ; and 7. Inconsistent.
There is also a tendency to make mistakes which betray their true
self/motives. Click here for the full review and discussion of these
frequently used disinformation traits of the far left, and the new 8th
one, commonly used by Obot [and now Hbot] operative quick response
teams: http://www.whale.to/b/sweeney.html
# # # #
Click on image for an example of the Gas Lighting technique portrayed in this 1944 movie
Also see “Gas Lighting“,
another disinformation term to describe the orchestrated confusion of
reality to confuse the target … which in Obama’s and the far left’s case
is the American electorate … all enabled by a cowardly and complicit
U.S. Congress and an enabling and complicit main stream media:
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